Found this on Facebook.. so funny i gotta share haha.. best bestest..
You know u r in Africa when.. or u know u miss Africa when..
( changed n cut n pasted)
...you fear for you life while riding in Combi....anywhere!
...you call everyone older then you uncle or aunt.
...you'd rather be barefoot
...every toothpaste is colgate.
...every soap is surf.
...black outs are nothing new to you.
...40 degrees is cold.
...four cars are driving parallel to each other on a one-lane road.
...The smell of freshly rained on mud paths/tarmac is comforting.
...being an hour late equals being "on time"
...you can bribe a cop and get away with it!
...You know that the police isn't always the safest place to go when you're in trouble.
...Cramming 7 passengers in a 4 passenger taxi is really not a big deal.
...you invite people for a get together at 7 and they all come at 9. ( funkar osso for chilenare)
...you cram 24 people into a 14 passenger Combi and have never felt closer to your African friends.
...you spent countless hours cleaning your sneakers when u know very well that by the time you get to the taxi stop, they'll be covered in dirt!
....you have another name in Setwana.
...you remember being so confused about how you could pay for something with a visa.
...you know you are from Africa when you have put Vaseline in your hair to be like your African friends..and your Mom has to take it out with OMO and Kerosene! ( true story, not that my moms had to wash it out but my hairdresser put Vaseline in my hair n I cudnt get it out for dayysss)
...you've been proposed to while walking down the street
...you know what true hospitality and generosity is...when those who have almost nothing still welcome you in with open arms and are willing to share everything they have with you - even though they barely know you!
...someone asks you how much your sister costs.
...your brother tries to sell you to his college roommate for 36 cows or goats... ( not in Africa but in Chile )
...You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunt
...None of your friends informs you that they are coming over for a visit.
...something that would normally take half an hour in the Western world takes a few days or weeks...and if it didn't it just wouldn't be fun.
...you find it completely natural to have burglar-bars outside your windows
...you know the DSTV channels by heart ( 322 my favorite)
...you can smell the rain before it comes
...you can look up at the sky and see every star clearly
...the sunset is something to look forward to
.....you spray 'Doom' in your room before going to bed ( UB love)
......you think of giving up trying to convince people of what it´s really like - even though they really do try, they often just don´t understand.
...having mud-orange feet is normal.
...instead of being greeted with "good morning", you're greeted with "Are you here / awake?"
...the rain back "home" feels cold.
...you learn quickly that pedestrians DO NOT have the right-of-way
the new list..
Its been a good while since a list, let me highlight my best dis n dat rite now:
The visit: Miriam n Sara in Gabs 4 a couple of days
The struggle: To reach deadline at work before I leave for Sweden
The 15 min of fame: My lapologa Interview x2 + My the Gazette Interview
The love: My new house
The checka ma style: New superstar red shades
The Classic: Knäckebröd with Makrill I tomatsås – thnx Sara
The poison: Street Chicken The new thing: Tourist checkin Gabs
The eardrum love: Lupe- The Cooooollllllll
The eardrum love 2: The Cool Kids
The eardrum love 3: Da Bush Babes
The longing for: SUNDAY
The wish: That I was 2 different people
The question: Is my Ipod stolen or just lost?
The question2: Am I ever gonna get paid?
The new COLLEGUE: Former President Festus Mogae
The business meeting: check above
The handshake of the century: check above again
The taste: Algren’s bilar – imagine
The hustle: To transfer Park Station – Airport
The headache: Government people
The riiiddiinn: In my boss new Rover
Now u know..
U know when..
U know that it's a funky house when u r thinkin should i buy a kingsize or a queensize rotation heartshaped waterbed or shud i just settle with the red dimmed lights n a waterbed?
Yessuur that the feelin I got when I stepped into our house the first time..
haha, well long story short , we had to move out from our precious house last week..
well with one weeks notice I thought I wud find myself settlin for whateva, but Botswana not bein Sweden with the mayyoor ackomodation shortages we found a couple pretty ehm little houses.. Well im living with ma man Fiki n his brother Tex, n its workin out just fine..
We looked at some houses but eish either it had a nice pool but noisy neighbors or it’s a beautiful house but its far from local transport what what.. well after a couple of days stressin n lookin at a couple we found IT.. note IT with capital letters.. DAMN, ok its still in Pakhalane, which I was kinda hopin we would leave.. but but, tex loves that area so that area it was..
Let me introduce you to the Kalakuta Mansion.. haha, it literally not a regular Swedish size house… Bigggg assss hooussee.. 2 stories, huge yard, pool, servants quarter the entire balleten .. 6 bedroom each with its own bathroom..3 extra toilets, n check there’s a Bar, literally a bar inside the house not the small mobile ones a big ass bar.. 2 lounges, a dine , n kitchen n the euurrbaddehh.. its kinda of a flossy house but what the heck, were hard workers all of us n we deserve to live in style haha.. yes the capitalist fonker in me is cumin out, makin it worse that we live in a white neighborhood, guess if we chocked the people next door..haha 3 youngster, noicy as hell movin in next door..
Well as said it was kinda of a project, a renovation project, not construction wise but pain wise.. Pink, Purple, orange, Maroon, eish everyroom had its own colour n style.. n the best part is yess they had painted big flowerpots n flower everywhere around the house.. fashionstyle yesurr.. well in two days we have transformed the place from a old redish porn-nest to a modern house.. Well that’s that bout my house..
Wait 4 yr invitation to the big housewarming party Sharp good people..
have a nice one!
6 days n countin until I touch down in Sweden..